It seems like parents are thinking about sending their kids to college earlier and earlier. Some couples start 529s before their children are even born! That’s insane! (Though it’s a smart financial move if you can pull it off.) Most of us are lucky to save anything for our kids between lower incomes, saving for retirement, and paying off our own student loans. Don’t feel bad if that’s you; it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. 

Luckily, there are a number of things you can do to prepare for college before your child enters high school, and they don’t all require money. 

Saving for College

• Select a method/account type for saving for college.

529 College Savings Plans are popular options, but they’re not the only way to save. Other options include Coverdell Education Savings Accounts, Roth IRAs, UTMAs/UGMAs, and brokerage accounts. You can find more information and learn how to choose one here: 5 Ways to Save For Your Child’s College Education. 

• Start saving as much as you can.

Consider contributing extra money you receive from tax refunds, bonuses, etc. Many families start with a small amount and gradually increase it over time as their income increases. Even if it is only $10, starting early gives you the benefit of time (time allows investments to grow more) and helps establish the habit of saving. Creating an automatic transfer each month takes away the burden of remembering to do it. 

• Let grandparents and other family members know how they can contribute to your child’s college savings.

  Grandparents can open their own 529 plan for your child or contribute to the one you’ve set up. 

• Make a guess at how much you should save.

  If you’re wondering how much you should be saving, use a calculator such as the one from savingforcollege.com. Don’t freak out if you can’t save that much right now. You may be able to save more later or get financial aid to assist you with tuition. Few families pay the full price for college, so not being able to save much doesn’t mean your child can’t go to college. 

Nurturing Your Child

• Support your child in academic, social, emotional, and physical learning.

  Help them explore the world in a safe and loving way. Teach them how to communicate, be kind to others, and have meaningful relationships. 

• As your child starts middle school, encourage them to explore their interests and develop hobbies.

  You are sending a person to college, not a set of grades and test scores. Colleges want students who are well-rounded, interesting people. Remember, your job as a parent is to turn your child into a fully functioning, responsible adult. not to have them memorize multiplication facts at the earliest possible age. 

• Teach resilience.

  Let your child struggle and teach them how to handle frustration. Help your child learn to manage reasonable amounts of stress. It’s important to find balance between removing all stress for your child and putting too much pressure on them to overachieve.

• Help your child learn responsibility and life skills.

  Many kids are going to college these days without knowing how to manage their own workload, talk to teachers and adults, or even how to ask for help. Teaching your child how to be an adult is one of the best things you can do to set your child up for success in life. 

(PS: If you want to read more about the perils of overparenting and how to turn your child into a competent adult, read How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims.

Creating the Right Expectations 

• As your child approaches high school, start having conversations about college.

  Talk about your own experiences and the variety of options available. Expose them to some college campuses by driving through or walking around (no need for formal tours at this point). 

• Start thinking of college as a tool to reach a goal rather than an end goal.

  Sometimes we get into trouble when we start thinking of getting into a particular school as the end game. In reality, college helps us launch our lives and careers. What is it that you and your child hope to get out of college? This way of thinking helps you find schools that are a good fit academically, socially, and financially and removes the pressure to go to the “top” schools. 

• Don’t get pulled into college marketing.

  Your alma mater wants to suck you in and make you overly invested in sending your child there. This, in turn, makes it more likely that you will be willing to pay more to send your child there. Sometimes students do get a lot of aid at the school their parent(s) attended, but be prepared for that not to be the case. You wouldn’t want to let your child grow up dreaming of your alma mater only to find out you can’t afford it. 

• Talk to your spouse about your own college experiences and expectations.

  Many parents don’t talk about how they paid for college or what they want to pay for their child to go to college until the financial aid letters arrive. Instead, talk about this early and often so you can try to get on the same page before you start talking about paying for college with your child. 

The younger years should be a time of nurturing, forming relationships, and helping children learn to be their best selves. Start saving for college if you can and help them learn the life skills they’ll need to succeed. If you take these steps, you’ll be in a good position to guide your high schooler through the college admissions process. 

See also: How to Save for College Without Losing Your Mind

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