Some financial advice just isn’t designed to help you live a life you truly love. So much of the financial advice being offered is purely about the numbers. But you are more than a set of numbers. You are a whole person with emotions, and values, and goals. You have a life to live. 

Unfortunately, most of us can’t do everything we want all of the time, but if we’re smart with our resources (time, energy, and money), most of us should be able to design a life we love using the resources we have. We just have to be smart and intentional in how we spend our time, money, and energy, and recognize that each decision we make comes with a tradeoff—something we are giving up. 

So as you make decisions about your life, remember that money is not the only consideration (though you of course must have enough money to pay for the things you want). Your life isn’t supposed to be about money; your money is a tool to help you build your life.

So here are 10 pieces of financial advice that you shouldn’t follow if you want to love your life:

1. Always spend as little as possible and save everything you can 

Many people believe that being as frugal as possible is the most virtuous way to live your life. Their goal is to save as much money for the future—so much so that they forget to actually live their lives. If you take the idea that you should save as much as possible for the future to its natural conclusion, you would probably be living in a shack, wearing holey clothes, and eating foraged scraps. At some point you have to decide to live the life you want now because that money isn’t going to be of that much use to you when you’re dead. 

2. Skip the lattes (or whatever it is that brings you joy)

Financial gurus love to shame people for buying the wrong things: “Just look at how much money you’d have if you saved that $5/day!” It’s one thing to give up splurges when you don’t have enough money to pay for them, but it’s another to give them up just because you might save a little more (which, let’s face it, hardly ever happens because most of us would just spend the $5 on something else rather than investing it). The point is that you need to be intentional. Buy what you want, but realize that buying that thing you love might be causing you to lose out on something else. Figure out what is most important in your life and prioritize that. 

3. Move to another state so that you can save money

Um, yeah, I am NOT going to move to a state far away from my family, friends, home, life, etc JUST so that I can save money on taxes. I had that “opportunity” once when my husband was considering a job in rural South Dakota and we are so glad that we stayed put instead. I would have been giving up soooooo many things, including free child care from my kids’ grandparents! (Nothing against rural South Dakota. If you love it there, great! It’s just not for me and no amount of tax benefit is going to change that.)

4. Get a job doing something nobody else wants to do

I will tell you right now that I’ve had jobs cleaning public bathrooms that paid very little and I really don’t want to do it again even if I get paid more. I mean, maybe a couple million a year would be enough incentive to get me a job as a crime scene cleaner or portable toilet cleaner, but we all know those jobs aren’t paying that much. Plus, it’s likely that the people making money in these industries are the business owners and not the grunts doing the dirty work. 

5. Get married (or don’t get married) for the financial benefits

It seems as though there is some debate over the financial benefits of getting married. I guess it depends on your situation and which financial benefits you’re talking about. But money is a really bad reason to get married. Maybe there are some situations where it makes sense, but be very careful because there’s a significant chance it won’t end well, and divorce is expensive. 

6. Always buy, never rent

Oh, people love to throw this advice around. Owning your home is as American as apple pie. The problem is that it isn’t the right choice for everyone. If you don’t want to deal with the burdens and costs of homeownership, then don’t. A home is not an investment; it’s a home. Plus, sometimes it doesn’t even make financial sense. If you don’t stay in the house for more than a couple years, you’ll likely lose money. And you never know what the housing market will do. Make the decision that’s right for you instead of listening to impersonal, and sometimes wrong, financial advice. 

7. Make every meal at home from scratch with fresh ingredients that you bought when shopping at 18 different stores so you could find the best price

I recently heard a story about a family where they always went to multiple stores to find the lowest price on everything. Then they went back to a store to return the pepper because they found it at the next store for $.10 less, wasting both time and money for the gas. 

Even if you’re not quite that crazy, sometimes it is worth paying extra for convenience, particularly when it comes to feeding yourselves and your family. Don’t stress yourself out trying to make everything in the cheapest way possible. (If this is something you struggle with, check out my tips for making affordable, quick, and easy meals.)

8. Never buy anything if you can’t pay cash

The best part of this advice is that it typically comes from people who are definitely making so much money they never have to worry about it. I mean, sure, it’s a good idea to pay off your credit card in full every month. But taking out a reasonable amount of debt to ensure that you have a reliable functioning car, buy a home, or send your child to college isn’t the end of the world as long as you can make the payments. 

Related: Why Debt Isn’t Always Bad

9. Wait to take Social Security until you’re 70 so you get the highest payout 

It is true that waiting until age 70 to take social security will give you a higher payout. But that advice only makes sense if you’re in a situation where getting the highest payout is a goal. What if you’re just not going to make it to 70 at your job and you can’t afford to retire without taking social security earlier? What if nobody in your family tends to live past the age of 75? The point is that there are other things to consider before you’ll know if waiting until 70 is the right answer for you. 

10. Get a side gig

Oh, yes. This is the advice du jour. Not being paid enough money at your crappy job where they think that working in your passion area is compensation in itself? Get a side gig! Can’t find an entry level job that doesn’t require a Ph.D, so you’re trying to get by as a barista? Get a side gig! 

Because working more hours when you have a family is a sustainable way to live. The gig economy is just a way for companies like DoorDash to get cheap labor without paying benefits. 

It’s your life

Basically, anytime someone tells you to make a decision based on (sometimes dubious) financial reasons without taking your life into account, run away. Or at least take it with a grain of salt. The tough thing about financial advice like this is that there is some truth in it and it is good advice for some people. But make sure you aren’t making decisions about your life based on financial benefit alone. This is your life, you should live it. 

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