Although money advice is often presented as hard-and-fast rules that apply to everyone, the truth is that not every money rule is right for everyone. It’s important to identify your values and goals and follow your heart to know which financial moves help you build the life of your dreams. Here are some of the money rules that I break:

1. You have to have a budget.

Honestly, budgets are like diets: they rarely work. This shouldn’t be surprising if you think about it. You’re taking a set of numbers that should in theory work and imposing it on a human being who operates largely on emotions, feelings, and intuition. We’re not robots. If we were robots, you could program in instructions for following a set of guidelines that will help it achieve the goal of saving money or losing weight. 

Instead, you need to have awareness of where your money is going and you have to know what your values and life goals are. Once you know where you are and where you’re going, you can create a roadmap to get from one to the other. Maybe this looks like a traditional budget, but it could also simply be expense tracking combined with automated savings (having set amounts automatically sent from your paycheck to various savings or retirement accounts). 

The key is to develop a plan that works for you. 

2. Don’t buy lattes. 

Lattes get a bad rep these days, but if you’ve ever actually read David Bach’s book The Latte Factor, you’ll know that he’s using lattes as a metaphor. It’s not that buying lattes (or whatever other little things you regularly purchase without much thought) is inherently bad. Rather, the point is that you need to think of your larger values and life goals and make sure that you’re being intentional in your spending. If lattes make you happy, go ahead and get them without shame or guilt. But first, make sure that you’re also saving for the future and the life of your dreams. Sometimes it’s about prioritizing expenses according to what is important to you. 

3. Spend as little money as possible. 

Many of us work under the assumption that all spending is bad. We feel guilty buying anything for ourselves even if we need it. Big purchases are especially hard to make because you watch your hard-earned money drain away, even if you had been saving just for that purpose. 

Other people don’t necessarily feel guilty when spending but have been raised to believe that frugality itself is a virtue. While frugal habits can certainly help meet other financial goals, being frugal all the time doesn’t necessarily help you create a life you truly love. 

Sometimes it is worth (responsibly) spending money now to make the most of your life. After all, until we can upload our consciousness to a virtual, post-death world like in the Netflix show Upload, you can’t spend your money when you’re dead. 

4. You need to work all the time now so you can have the life you want later. 

We all know people who are working their a$$es off with hardly a break or vacation. Sometimes that’s what’s expected to advance your career. If you want to make partner or ever get promoted, you have to work 80 hours per week and have no life other than your job. 

Or maybe you’re one of many people who have side hustles to make extra money to pay for the extra-large house you purchased and all the things you need to fill and maintain it. Pinterest is full of ideas for side hustles that promise to make you rich or solve all your problems. 

Sometimes people do need to work all the time to cover survival expenses and I desperately hope that we as a society choose to start valuing all work by paying a living wage. 

For those who aren’t experiencing food or housing instability, it can be easy to work, work, work and then find yourself near retirement age having achieved none of your dreams and wondering what the heck you’re going to do for the next 30 years. 

Money doesn’t increase happiness on its own once survival needs are met. It’s important to identify your values now and find ways to live that life now. Maybe that’s working more now, but it might also be finding a job that pays a little less so you can spend more time with your family. Sure you might make some sacrifices, but it might also increase your overall life satisfaction. 

5. You should always listen to your financial advisor. 

It is important to find a fee-only, fiduciary financial advisor who is right for you. The majority of Certified Financial Planners work at companies selling products and services. Besides, many financial advisors are older, white men and as well-meaning as they might be, they often can’t relate or explain things in a way that makes sense for you. Finding an advisor who listens to you and understands your life, values, and goals is extremely important. If you feel like your advisor isn’t recommending things that are right for you or can’t explain why you should do something, get a new advisor. 

To find a financial advisor who isn’t trying to sell you things, look for “fee-only” financial planners through the XY Planning Network or the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors. You could also consider taking some personal finance courses, checking out one of my favorite books, listening to podcasts, or working with a financial coach or educator. You should always be able to read online about any person you speak to and have a free phone call or meeting to make sure the person is a good fit. 

And one rule I follow: do what’s best for you.

Money is personal and all financial advice should be evaluated against your values, goals, habits, and emotions. Only you know what is best for you and your family.